It's been forever
It really does feel forever, to me at least, since I posted to this blog last. I guess I am just dealing with some major artist block. I have been looking over past pictures, trying to dredge even an ounce of creative inspiration out of something and it's just been.. meh.. nothing to really write home about.
I've been thinking, maybe I need to restart my inspiration series, for myself mostly!
Today is just a short blurb, I kinda like how an image turned out that I edited. I was shooting for a bright springy picture and ended up kinda dark.. I always end up kinda dark.. why is that??
Losing the past
I have such a love hate relationship with Facebook.
I love it, because at 45 it has brought me back in touch with friends from my childhood.
I hate it, because at 45 it has brought me back in touch with friends from my childhood.
You see what I did there? :) Same amount of characters.. just change 4 little letters and it means something totally different.
Now to clarify, I don't hate the people from my childhood.
More to the point. Facebook has brought about knowledge of my mortality. A few years ago, this would have tossed me into a downward spiral of depression. Watching the deaths, aging, horrible accidents and problems that happen to people that were my whole world growing up. All from a distance, unable to change their situations, or help. Well, other then the most important help that is. Sharing Christ with them. I just wish that I knew if I had shared Him enough with everyone.
If not for knowing Christ, I can't imagine how I would handle situations like the one that happened recently. A friend, actually an ex boyfriend of mine, was just killed. At first it was overwhelming, I fell back to the old thought process. He was such a sweet person, how could this have happened, we just talked not long ago, even after 20 some years. We had stayed friends... tears were shed, my husband held and comforted me. Then the Lord wrapped his arms around me and I realized that Del was with Christ and that it was OK, that Del was OK.
I am glad that we stayed friends, that there was closure to our relationship. That we still had a friendship. You will be missed Del.
I love it, because at 45 it has brought me back in touch with friends from my childhood.
I hate it, because at 45 it has brought me back in touch with friends from my childhood.
You see what I did there? :) Same amount of characters.. just change 4 little letters and it means something totally different.
Now to clarify, I don't hate the people from my childhood.
More to the point. Facebook has brought about knowledge of my mortality. A few years ago, this would have tossed me into a downward spiral of depression. Watching the deaths, aging, horrible accidents and problems that happen to people that were my whole world growing up. All from a distance, unable to change their situations, or help. Well, other then the most important help that is. Sharing Christ with them. I just wish that I knew if I had shared Him enough with everyone.
If not for knowing Christ, I can't imagine how I would handle situations like the one that happened recently. A friend, actually an ex boyfriend of mine, was just killed. At first it was overwhelming, I fell back to the old thought process. He was such a sweet person, how could this have happened, we just talked not long ago, even after 20 some years. We had stayed friends... tears were shed, my husband held and comforted me. Then the Lord wrapped his arms around me and I realized that Del was with Christ and that it was OK, that Del was OK.
I am glad that we stayed friends, that there was closure to our relationship. That we still had a friendship. You will be missed Del.
Calvary Cross for SCAL - Cricut
I have a cricut.. I <3 my cricut!
I had a friend who asked if I could create an image of the Calvary Cross for a vinyl decoration.
YES! It turned out so beautiful that I want to share it with the world :). It's also the perfect time of the year for it.
I cannot figure out how to save it as an SVG file yet, so it is in .scut2 format. It turns out beautifully on the Cricut Expression. Please feel free to convert it and share it back if you would like. Otherwise please enjoy this image :).
I had a friend who asked if I could create an image of the Calvary Cross for a vinyl decoration.
YES! It turned out so beautiful that I want to share it with the world :). It's also the perfect time of the year for it.
I cannot figure out how to save it as an SVG file yet, so it is in .scut2 format. It turns out beautifully on the Cricut Expression. Please feel free to convert it and share it back if you would like. Otherwise please enjoy this image :).
Going with my whole love of colors, I have a new color palette mix using Chasing Dreams free Color Palette templates.
As always hope that this inspires a color mix for you! Or better yet, download the templates and play around and find your own color palette!
As always hope that this inspires a color mix for you! Or better yet, download the templates and play around and find your own color palette!
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| Cowgirl Love |
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| Southwestern Palette |
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| Lilac Love |
Fitting song
I'm sitting here listening to my Spotify playlist and this song just screams out about how my life was before Christ.
Does it sound like what your going through, or your past?
Last night got a little crazy
I dont remember, woke up spun with the pasties
My friends say I was tweaked out,
Passed out on a dirty couch, still in the house
It kind a scares me, I dont know
Am out of control, always waking up still in my clothes
I wrote a note that said goodbye to pain, good bye to shame
But couldnt find a way, I just cry for days
Im so depressed, soak in wet, I cant rest
These thoughts just beat me to death Im un-kept
I thought of a song my mom used to sing in church
But its been so long I cant remember the words
Every time you run, every time you hide
Every time it hurts, every time you cry
Every time you run away, every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away, Im right here, with you
Every time you run
I keep sleeping in dont want to wake up
I keep hearing from the landlord pay up
Hide my face in my pillow till the sunsets
Hung over and I havent seen a pay check
I took a job downtown at the factory
I was hired and fired with no salary
I keep running from responsibility
Its seems impossible, the pressure is hitting me
I know I need to man up, or sit down
Stand up and get out of this crowd
I thought of a song my mom used to sing in church
But its been so long I cant remember the words
Every time you run, every time you hide
Every time it hurts, every time you cry
Every time you run away, every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away, Im right here, with you
Well I know Im not ready to die, But Ive
Sure thought about the meaning of life
Cause I cant seem to find a purpose for me
Its just the choices and I fail to proceed
I got a get up, get up, get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up
I hear voices in my mind, ones a devil, ones Jesus
I can feel it can you help me find the pieces
Like an angel on my shoulder, you hold the
Joy of the lord raising up a soldier
You gave me the song my mom used to sing in church
I promised not to quit and I remembered the words
I promised not to quit and I remembered the words
Every time you run, every time you hide
Every time it hurts, every time you cry
Every time you run away, every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away, Im right here, with you
Does it sound like what your going through, or your past?
Last night got a little crazy
I dont remember, woke up spun with the pasties
My friends say I was tweaked out,
Passed out on a dirty couch, still in the house
It kind a scares me, I dont know
Am out of control, always waking up still in my clothes
I wrote a note that said goodbye to pain, good bye to shame
But couldnt find a way, I just cry for days
Im so depressed, soak in wet, I cant rest
These thoughts just beat me to death Im un-kept
I thought of a song my mom used to sing in church
But its been so long I cant remember the words
Every time you run, every time you hide
Every time it hurts, every time you cry
Every time you run away, every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away, Im right here, with you
Every time you run
I keep sleeping in dont want to wake up
I keep hearing from the landlord pay up
Hide my face in my pillow till the sunsets
Hung over and I havent seen a pay check
I took a job downtown at the factory
I was hired and fired with no salary
I keep running from responsibility
Its seems impossible, the pressure is hitting me
I know I need to man up, or sit down
Stand up and get out of this crowd
I thought of a song my mom used to sing in church
But its been so long I cant remember the words
Every time you run, every time you hide
Every time it hurts, every time you cry
Every time you run away, every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away, Im right here, with you
Well I know Im not ready to die, But Ive
Sure thought about the meaning of life
Cause I cant seem to find a purpose for me
Its just the choices and I fail to proceed
I got a get up, get up, get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up
I hear voices in my mind, ones a devil, ones Jesus
I can feel it can you help me find the pieces
Like an angel on my shoulder, you hold the
Joy of the lord raising up a soldier
You gave me the song my mom used to sing in church
I promised not to quit and I remembered the words
I promised not to quit and I remembered the words
Every time you run, every time you hide
Every time it hurts, every time you cry
Every time you run away, every time you hide your face
And it feels so far away, Im right here, with you
Well it's official!
I am going to be a Close To My Heart consultant! I've been sitting on the idea for months now. I absolutely love love love their items. Every single one of them! And when I went to a CTMH party last week and found out that they were giving the Art Philosophy cartridge away for free this month to new sign up consultants, well.. I was sold, especially since I had just told my CTMH girl that it was going to be my next purchase!
So, in the next few days I will be building the CTMH products into the site, if anyone is wanting to purchase anything, just contact me! :)
So, in the next few days I will be building the CTMH products into the site, if anyone is wanting to purchase anything, just contact me! :)
One month later
I am just not feeling it, too much webpage designing, too much photo editing, too much ache and pain dealing with this fibro. It's all just taken a toll on me.
I broke down and started an HCG diet. Granted it's the cheapest bottle that I could find at wallyworld. But amazingly it has actually killed my appetite. Yeah, boggled my mind also. I have not had the courage to step on a scale yet though. It's only been 2 days and my pants speak in volumes. They are saying to stay away from the scale and go directly to the treadmill.
I've had these websites bouncing around in my head though and I just had to get them out. Heck I need $$ and the only way to do that is to sell some of my work! Right? Le sigh. Such a catch 22. Well.. I bid adieu. And another motivational picture!
I broke down and started an HCG diet. Granted it's the cheapest bottle that I could find at wallyworld. But amazingly it has actually killed my appetite. Yeah, boggled my mind also. I have not had the courage to step on a scale yet though. It's only been 2 days and my pants speak in volumes. They are saying to stay away from the scale and go directly to the treadmill.
I've had these websites bouncing around in my head though and I just had to get them out. Heck I need $$ and the only way to do that is to sell some of my work! Right? Le sigh. Such a catch 22. Well.. I bid adieu. And another motivational picture!
February 25th
The weekend of February 25th was what had to have been one of the worst weekends, leading up to one of the worst nights that I have had in ages. My fibro had flared horribly, my depression kicked in with a passion previously unknown, my children we're being coerced to do things that were against our family values.
Living in Arizona always means a bit more stress to day to day living, between the drug smuggling and the high crime and very real possibility of being killed or kidnapped. It's not an exaggeration out here. The risk of those things happening are higher than normal, hence always being hyper sensitive to whats going on around us. I akin it to living in a war state. Eventually things are going to get to you.
I felt as if all hope was gone in my life, everything had been a failure. From my childhood, raising my children, moving my kids to one of the most unsafe places to live, failed marriages.. everything up to the very moment where I felt that there was nothing left to life anymore.
Suddenly I remembered a message our Pastor told us to recite when things seem their darkest. Call on the name of the Lord.
"In the name of Jesus..."
I cried out "In the name of Jesus, leave me be!" I had such a sudden feeling of strength and I was able to finally stop crying. It was as if I felt His hand on my shoulder raising me out of the bed I had been lying in for 3 days. A friend of the family came by the next morning, he said that he had to come check on me. The night before he had such a strong feeling come over him to pray for me, he said it was overwhelming. He felt drawn to pray Psalm 25 for me...
This really hit me...
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses.
18 Look upon my affliction and my [l]trouble, And forgive all my sins.
19 Look upon my enemies, for they are many, And they hate me with violent hatred.
20 Guard my soul and deliver me; Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, Out of all his troubles.
It was then that I knew that He was watching over me. It was that moment that I knew that the afflictions happening to me were supernatural. He loves me and wants me to live. My fibro has not flared much since the weekend of Feb 25. I feel so much better, knowing that He is watching over me.
Living in Arizona always means a bit more stress to day to day living, between the drug smuggling and the high crime and very real possibility of being killed or kidnapped. It's not an exaggeration out here. The risk of those things happening are higher than normal, hence always being hyper sensitive to whats going on around us. I akin it to living in a war state. Eventually things are going to get to you.
I felt as if all hope was gone in my life, everything had been a failure. From my childhood, raising my children, moving my kids to one of the most unsafe places to live, failed marriages.. everything up to the very moment where I felt that there was nothing left to life anymore.
Suddenly I remembered a message our Pastor told us to recite when things seem their darkest. Call on the name of the Lord.
"In the name of Jesus..."
I cried out "In the name of Jesus, leave me be!" I had such a sudden feeling of strength and I was able to finally stop crying. It was as if I felt His hand on my shoulder raising me out of the bed I had been lying in for 3 days. A friend of the family came by the next morning, he said that he had to come check on me. The night before he had such a strong feeling come over him to pray for me, he said it was overwhelming. He felt drawn to pray Psalm 25 for me...
This really hit me...
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses.
18 Look upon my affliction and my [l]trouble, And forgive all my sins.
19 Look upon my enemies, for they are many, And they hate me with violent hatred.
20 Guard my soul and deliver me; Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, Out of all his troubles.
It was then that I knew that He was watching over me. It was that moment that I knew that the afflictions happening to me were supernatural. He loves me and wants me to live. My fibro has not flared much since the weekend of Feb 25. I feel so much better, knowing that He is watching over me.
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| Psalm 25 |
Such good news
Tomorrow I will share a story about an event this weekend that really saved me... but til then I just had to post this song. I was listening to Spotify and this song just jumped out at me! Audio Adrenaline "Walk On Water" Simon Peter won't you put those nets down follow me I'll lead you out of this town to a place where no boat has ever been I will make you a fisher of men Jesus walked out on the water said take courage it is me Peter trusted and he wanted to go farther so he stepped out on the sea If I keep my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water If I keep my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water Just like peter I want to go farther tread on the sea and walk on the water step where he steps and go where he goes side by side when the sea billows roll I'll be alright when the wind comes I'll be alright when the waves come crashing I'm not afraid for this is my father's world
What to do
What is there left to do when you have no faith left. When no matter what you have tried, it just doesn't work. I listen for Him, but all I hear is silence and an ever present knowledge that I am not a true Christian.
I try to push Him away, my study guides, bibles, notes, everything are by the door to be given away. I want my happiness back. My health. My love of life. From the day I tried to become a Christian is when things started to go downhill.
I give up, Nothing I have done amounted to a hill of beans.
I try to push Him away, my study guides, bibles, notes, everything are by the door to be given away. I want my happiness back. My health. My love of life. From the day I tried to become a Christian is when things started to go downhill.
I give up, Nothing I have done amounted to a hill of beans.
Colors
I've always been in love with colors and how they effect our moods or how we perceive what they are attached to. I got messing around with Chasing Dreams Photography color palette boards. As much as I love looking at design-seeds color templates, there is just something more personal in using colors that have personally appealed to me. Oh and using my own photography :). Enjoy and I hope that something ticks and inspires you to use one of my color combinations! 
Day late. dollar short
So I told my hubby that February 1st was going to be the beginning of my {repeat} weight loss journey... Yeah yesterday didn't quite work out, when there is barely enough time to catch the breath between errands, it's just not a good day to start.
So even though I know that I need to come to terms with the fact that I AM overweight, it's been hard. I can't take any pics, because I don't want to ever remember this period of time in my life. My cholesterol levels had been hovering in dangerous levels. Statins lowered it, but they made me sick. Depression racks me on any given day and aches and pains rule my daily lifestyle. It's impossible to lay solid plans with friends, because we never know if I am going to be able to get out of bed on any given day.
Pictures... ahh if only I could have the courage like so many woman do nowadays. I just don't have it though. Yet!
So, we start with a mental image.
Weight: 205
Height: 5' 3"
BMI: 36.3
Lets see how this rollercoaster goes!!!
So even though I know that I need to come to terms with the fact that I AM overweight, it's been hard. I can't take any pics, because I don't want to ever remember this period of time in my life. My cholesterol levels had been hovering in dangerous levels. Statins lowered it, but they made me sick. Depression racks me on any given day and aches and pains rule my daily lifestyle. It's impossible to lay solid plans with friends, because we never know if I am going to be able to get out of bed on any given day.
Pictures... ahh if only I could have the courage like so many woman do nowadays. I just don't have it though. Yet!
So, we start with a mental image.
Weight: 205
Height: 5' 3"
BMI: 36.3
Lets see how this rollercoaster goes!!!
2012 and turning a new leaf
With 2011 coming to a close, I came to the conclusion that I was going nowhere with my creativity. I have been stagnant for so very long. Then I came across a wonderful site. Triple the scraps.
To say I was moved to inspiration is an understatement. I couldn't wait for the new year to start so that I could start Patters Hymn & Scripture Challenge.
I have been slow to upload the pics to the site, but I have found that I didn't need to. Unlike my past forays with craftyness I always rushed to upload pics, if the item was done or not. I had such a feeling of fulfillment after finishing each of these pieces that I felt "done" with them. I feel that I finally have heard what God has been telling me to do with my creativeness.
My first piece for {HSCRC12} Hymn #1, Amazing Grace. I used an 8x10 canvas. I gave it a once over with gesso and some phone book paper for a nice rough base. From there I just went crazy with some tattered angels glitter mist. Then I used a tattered angels stencil and used structure gel for a raised effect. From there I just layered colors and styles. Having fun with whatever was close at hand.
I shared the image on Facebook and my mother in law promptly asked if I would be willing to donate it to Groundworks Ministries 3rd annual banquet & silent auction on February 4th. I can't make it clear enough how much that made my heart happy! I have always been my own worst critic and never felt my artwork or photography was good enough to even display.
My second project which was very quickly started the same night that I finished the first project was a bit more detailed. This one was for {HSCRC12} Hymn #2, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. I decided to delve into my re-use re-purpose stash. I used an empty box from some Kashi cereal. It felt a little flimsy for my plans so I bulked it up a bit with duct tape. I figured the texture would allow me to save extra layers of bulky paper and modpodge layering. I took the idea from Tim Coffeys youtube. It's a 3 part series and well worth the watching. Instead of going into detail on how I created this piece I'll let you watch Tim's videos, please give him "Kudos" for such a great idea!
This piece will also be donated to the Groundworks silent auction. I really hope that they raise a good amount to help them out!
Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope that you found my work inspirational! Please visit Patter's blog if you would like to join in on the Challenge!
To say I was moved to inspiration is an understatement. I couldn't wait for the new year to start so that I could start Patters Hymn & Scripture Challenge.
I have been slow to upload the pics to the site, but I have found that I didn't need to. Unlike my past forays with craftyness I always rushed to upload pics, if the item was done or not. I had such a feeling of fulfillment after finishing each of these pieces that I felt "done" with them. I feel that I finally have heard what God has been telling me to do with my creativeness.
My first piece for {HSCRC12} Hymn #1, Amazing Grace. I used an 8x10 canvas. I gave it a once over with gesso and some phone book paper for a nice rough base. From there I just went crazy with some tattered angels glitter mist. Then I used a tattered angels stencil and used structure gel for a raised effect. From there I just layered colors and styles. Having fun with whatever was close at hand.
I shared the image on Facebook and my mother in law promptly asked if I would be willing to donate it to Groundworks Ministries 3rd annual banquet & silent auction on February 4th. I can't make it clear enough how much that made my heart happy! I have always been my own worst critic and never felt my artwork or photography was good enough to even display.
My second project which was very quickly started the same night that I finished the first project was a bit more detailed. This one was for {HSCRC12} Hymn #2, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus. I decided to delve into my re-use re-purpose stash. I used an empty box from some Kashi cereal. It felt a little flimsy for my plans so I bulked it up a bit with duct tape. I figured the texture would allow me to save extra layers of bulky paper and modpodge layering. I took the idea from Tim Coffeys youtube. It's a 3 part series and well worth the watching. Instead of going into detail on how I created this piece I'll let you watch Tim's videos, please give him "Kudos" for such a great idea!
This piece will also be donated to the Groundworks silent auction. I really hope that they raise a good amount to help them out!
Thank you for stopping by my blog. I hope that you found my work inspirational! Please visit Patter's blog if you would like to join in on the Challenge!
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