What to do

What is there left to do when you have no faith left. When no matter what you have tried, it just doesn't work. I listen for Him, but all I hear is silence and an ever present knowledge that I am not a true Christian.
I try to push Him away, my study guides, bibles, notes, everything are by the door to be given away. I want my happiness back. My health. My love of life. From the day I tried to become a Christian is when things started to go downhill.
I give up, Nothing I have done amounted to a hill of beans.

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