Living in Arizona always means a bit more stress to day to day living, between the drug smuggling and the high crime and very real possibility of being killed or kidnapped. It's not an exaggeration out here. The risk of those things happening are higher than normal, hence always being hyper sensitive to whats going on around us. I akin it to living in a war state. Eventually things are going to get to you.
I felt as if all hope was gone in my life, everything had been a failure. From my childhood, raising my children, moving my kids to one of the most unsafe places to live, failed marriages.. everything up to the very moment where I felt that there was nothing left to life anymore.
Suddenly I remembered a message our Pastor told us to recite when things seem their darkest. Call on the name of the Lord.
"In the name of Jesus..."
I cried out "In the name of Jesus, leave me be!" I had such a sudden feeling of strength and I was able to finally stop crying. It was as if I felt His hand on my shoulder raising me out of the bed I had been lying in for 3 days. A friend of the family came by the next morning, he said that he had to come check on me. The night before he had such a strong feeling come over him to pray for me, he said it was overwhelming. He felt drawn to pray Psalm 25 for me...
This really hit me...
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.
17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses.
18 Look upon my affliction and my [l]trouble, And forgive all my sins.
19 Look upon my enemies, for they are many, And they hate me with violent hatred.
20 Guard my soul and deliver me; Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You.
22 Redeem Israel, O God, Out of all his troubles.
It was then that I knew that He was watching over me. It was that moment that I knew that the afflictions happening to me were supernatural. He loves me and wants me to live. My fibro has not flared much since the weekend of Feb 25. I feel so much better, knowing that He is watching over me.
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| Psalm 25 |
